I feel bad.  I accused my husband of causing MJ to freak out at bed time and believed it wholeheartedly for 4 days.  I quizzed him, not once, not twice, but three times and then still didn’t believe him when he said, “I don’t know.  I did nothing different.”  And, I did this in front of PJ.  Which is not a good thing, because she already thinks all the mishaps that occur in our house are somehow the result of Dad forgetting something, dropping something or not doing it like Mom does.

Over the weekend, Ken was putting the baby down as usual.  It’s our routine, he does MJ’s bath, book and bed and I get PJ ready, books started, teeth brushed, hair braided, etc.  Anyway, it’s the standard Daddy and MJ routine, when all of a sudden, the scream of all screams occurs.  MJ freaked out!  Like Exercist freakout!  Like murder freakout!  That pterodactyl cry, reserved for smashed fingers and big, heavy books on toes.  Yeah, that one.

And as Ken walks out the room, I send that “what the hell happened in there?” glare and ask, “what is that all about?”  “I don’t know.”  He says, “I might have taken too long to leave the room, I was just trying to cover her and she freaked out!”

Of course, I’m skeptical.  How could this be?  Not possible, right?  I then I start the quizzes.  “Did you do something different?” “Was the room too hot, too cold, too light, too dark…..”  This went on and on and then we decided he’d go back in and try to calm her, but not get her up. You know, make sure she’s ok, feels secure.  No dice.  OK…let’s get her up and maybe she needed a little more milk.  So, Ken gives her more milk while I put PJ to bed.  Not a good idea, but we tried and you can’t fault us for that.

Again, SCREAMS come screeching out of the room and Ken looks even more perplexed.  I’m still wondering what caused all this because it’s never happened before.  So, I start quizzing again, while the wails and sobs seep out of her room from under the door.  Then, nothing….cough, hack….nothing….light sobs….hummmm.  Big light goes on in brain!  Oh man….flippin’ great!  Puke, I know it.  Door open.  Yup!  Peee-yoooo!  So, here we go.  Clean up the room, clean up the baby, and start all over, an hour later, of course.  Finally, she’s asleep.  3 beers later and 30 minutes in the jacuzzi and Ken and I are finally relaxed, but still very perplexed.

Next night, same thing.  But, a little less screaming and no puke [an improvement and we’ll take it].  During nap times though, everything was fine.  I really start wondering what Ken is doing wrong.  He must be doing something.  There is always an explanation, ok!

3rd day, naps are great. Ken decides to do bedtime one more time to see what happens.  I was gonna take over, cuz, you know, I’m perfect, right? [whatever].  So, he does the usual routine.  Bath, books, bottle, bed…nice and quiet, calm as can be.  She lays down, goes to sleep.  WT…?  But we’ll take it!  And now, even more perplexed, we decide to chaulk it up to “baby fluke” [not to be confused with baby PUKE].  There’s a certain level of the “unexplained” that occurs when raising kids and this was one of those that we do NOT need an answer to.  We’re just happy it happened.

Day 4, today, morning nap, starts out normal.  Everything fine.  Eye rubs, head on leg, oh, you must be tired, baby.  Diaper change, book, bottle, burp, lay down….lay down…first, you have to let go of my neck!  SCREAMING!  Prying….more screaming and then I just leave. I shut the door and run down the stairs to get my coffee [extra strong] and stare at the monitor, in total shock!  She is pulling a pterodactyl on ME.  Say what?

15 minutes later and lots of crying [and lots of staring, at the monitor, that is],  she’s finally asleep.  Either she’s exhausted from crying or she figures it’s just not worth it because Momma don’t play that.  I don’t know.  Either way, I now know, Ken didn’t do a damn thing!  We’re just raising a flippin’ pterodactyl with talons of steel.

So, as I sit in silence and write this post, I’m starting to worry about tonight.  I think I can even feel my blood pressure rising as I type.  Maybe she just had to put me in my place.  I am definitely humbled and will apologize to Ken tonight, in front of PJ and MJ and even video tape it if I have to, to prove my humility.  And if Ken wants to, he can even give me a spankin’.  [NOT in front of the kids, of course]