So, as an older mum and one that had a bit of a hard time conceiving, I completely understand why some couples turn to In Vitro. We didn’t need to go that far, but it was a topic of conversation and brought up in a “what if” scenario.

Here we are, 2009, a 7 year old and a 14 month old and no more kids in the plans.  In fact, Ken has even visited the “special” doctor, so we’re serious, no more kids!  But what if…  I mean, what if we didn’t conceive naturally and we used in vitro and now that we’re done, we have these frozen embryos sitting in some clinic waiting to be implanted.  Now what do we do?

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Until I read the article on Parenting.com, The Fate of Frozen Embryos, I never really thought about what happens after you conceive all the children you desire and still have frozen embryos waiting for implantation.  I guess for me, it’s just an embryo.  It’s not a baby, it’s simply cells waiting to split.  But then again, I’m a parent now.  And once, I had a simple embryo grow inside me too.  And that embryo became a fetus and then that fetus became a baby.  And that baby just went off to 2nd grade today.  So yah, it’s all pretty damn awesome.  However, in my mind, embryo still does not equal baby, at all.

For me, my first concern with left over embryos is that if they’re not destroyed, they can be implanted.  They could become babies.  Maybe attend school along side my daughter or even live next door.  That is way too freaky.  I mean, as a parent of two girls, I know one day they’ll date, marry, have kids of their own and suddenly, those embryos take on a life.  I mean, their paths could cross, etc.  This is a small world.  I’m sure all of you have had an “it’s a small world” moment at one time or another.  It’s just too risky!

Let’s say you decide, yup, we’re done.  Done, done!  No more kids, period!  Then you realize, oh yeah, we have 3 embryos left.  OK, well, here’s your options:

• Destroy embryo.  [Easy enough.  Is that too harsh?]
• Allow to thaw and die off naturally.  [Whatever floats your boat.  Kind of the same as destroy, but with less control.  I don’t trust the clinics]
• Donate to Science [for cell research, not to create babies without your knowledge]
• Donate to other infertile couples [Very altruistic.  Excellent theory, but still makes me nervous to have biological offspring in the world that you will know nothing about]

So, even me, the ultimate believer in science and believer that a baby isn’t a baby until it’s viable on it’s own [I know, that statement caused a lot of eye rolls, but it’s just my belief, ok].   Anyway, even me, I have a hard time with the choices above.  Of course, I probably wouldn’t have chosen in vitro in the first place, but still, the scientific creation of a human embryo and later the destruction of that embryo is worthy of some sort of discussion and planning.   What do you think?