I joke all the time about how great it will be when we’re all beige. When the color of our skin will no longer be an issue and each of us is will only be judged by our character and behavior.
When I say all this, I mean it. But I also realize that it’s probably not going to happen in my lifetime. Maybe I’m wrong. If I can live to be 100, I might have a chance. What do you think?
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Based on this article in CNN, my chances may have increased.
According to studies:
- About one in seven marriages are interracial or interethnic, according to a new Pew study
- Pew Center: Asians and Hispanics are most likely to marry outside of their race
- In 2008, African-Americans 3 times more likely to marry outside race, compared with 1980
- Americans, particularly Millennials, are more accepting of interracial relationships
CNN – In America Series – Interracial Marriages at an All Time Hight, Study Says.
By Stephanie Chen, CNN
(CNN) — The first time Priya Merrill, who is Indian, brought her white boyfriend home for Thanksgiving in 2007, the dinner was uncomfortable and confusing. She still remembers her family asking if Andrew was the bartender or a family photographer.
The couple married last August, and her Indian family has warmed up to her husband despite their racial differences.
“I think we get the best of both cultures,” said Merrill, 27, of New York. She added, “Sometimes I just forget that we’re interracial. I don’t really think about it.”
Asian. White. Black. Hispanic. Do race and ethnicity matter when it comes to marriage?
Jason
/ June 11, 2010“Asian. White. Black. Hispanic. Do race and ethnicity matter when it comes to marriage?”
Well, yes and no.
Yes, it does matter.
Some people aren’t attracted to their own ethnicity, so they seek someone they are attracted to. For my friend who is from India, he’s attracted to Caucasian women, so that’s the “pond” he’s fishing from. For a lot of people, though, it may be that either (1) they aren’t attracted to other ethnicities, or (2) they’re not comfortable with the perceived stigma from being in an interracial relationship even though they are attracted to someone from another race, so they refrain from it.
No, it doesn’t matter.
As a Christian man who desires to be in an interracial marriage, I’m aware that we are all created in the same image — that of the Trinity. We bear God’s resemblance in our masculine and feminine hearts, not our skin tone.
It is the heart underneath the skin that truly makes the person.
But, like I mentioned above, some people are attracted to certain ethnicities.
MarineMom79
/ July 1, 2010I may be a little biased, since I have an amazingly strong and fulfilling marriage (that happens to be interracial), but in my opinion race and ethnicity aren’t the issues.
What matters is that couples have shared values and goals. If there are known hurdles, such as religious differences, then they need to have plan before they wed on how they will raise their children, etc. They need to be aware that once they wed, outside family concerns and pressure take a back seat to spousal support and unity. Couples, regardless of race, that begin with a shared foundation and common goals are far more likely to succeed than thise without.
Anita
/ October 23, 2010Well I’m 18 and I’ve been attracted to every race but my own lol black. my first boyfriend was caucasian and my recent boyfriend is. i love him and there’s a stronger bond that comes from being from different backgrounds. You beat all the criticism and odds that say you’ll never make it.
Summer
/ February 16, 2011I’m not married, but my BF is white. I think I am the biggest hypocrite in the world. Growing up I always told my little brothers they had better not marry a white girl (even though I said they could date one) or have kids with one and all that CRAP. Even though I never dated a black boy (at that point in time I was saying such dumb stuff) I think it’s just because of what I grew up around. My mom loves my BF and treats him probably better than me, but when I was growing up she said the same things to my brothers and I guess I just agreed with her because she’s my mom. (she’d never said that to me.. weird). Anyways I don’t ACTUALLY see a problem with interracial relationships or marriages. I think all relationships filled with love or simply companion ship in the early stages are great. No matter the race, religion etc. I don’t know if everyone will one day be ‘beige’ because I love seeing different ‘racial’ features and stuff, but I hope one day it won’t be such a big deal what color your skin is.
Ann
/ May 1, 2011Duh, of course it matters. First you have the mixing of cultures which can be an absolute nightmare and absolutely hilarious. People in Asian, African, White, etc. have different meanings behind what they say and do and different expectations for their relationships. This can pose challenges for even the most loving of relationships.
There are other issues, but there’s no reason to go into them bc. . . .
Race matters just like other issues matter such as how each individual approaches finances, how they express and receive love, physical handicaps, crazy in-laws, or how important their careers are vs. family life. These are BIG issues with potential negative effects if they aren’t handled well, but they aren’t relationship breakers unless they’re that important to you or someone is being too prideful or selfish.
So my parents had a biracial marriage and it went bust, and I have a mixed (very mixed) marriage which is simply awesome. Like everything else in life it’s not so much the challenges you face as how you handle those challenges that brings about your happily ever after.
sdmom22
/ May 1, 2011Interesting comment and I do agree. There are so many issues that arise in relationships. All of which that take compromise, work, etc., beyond race. And yes, it might be funny to some to even pose such a question, but what’s even more funny is my 9 year old daughter’s response when reading your comment. In particular, your first line, ‘Duh, of course it matters. She said “Mom?! Isn’t that kind of rude?”
I only bring this up because you make a lot of sense in your comment. More than most and I love your last 2 paragraphs, in particular. But sometimes the first words you speak are the last people ever hear.
Mary
/ August 23, 2011i think race matters but not as much as the similarity of the culture and traditions of the couple. Interrcial marriages take a lot of hard work but as long as there is love and understanding the couple should be fine.
Some cultures are more similar than others, eg I live in America but come from an African background and i noticed that our culture and traditions have a lot of similiarity with the Latino culture than other cultures. This could be because of the influence of the blacks in South America, therefore i will not mind marrying a latino.
I was recently in South Western part of Mexico and I was amazed at how i felt at home. The people have a darker skin tone, the food very similar to west african food especially the tamale and soups! i was amazed! Their mannerisms, their houses, the way they joke around and how hard they work! I was truly impressed.
I think it’s going to be easier for me to have a successful marriage with someone from this background than others no matter the color of their skin. Eg although i am black, it’s going to take a lot more work to marry a black british than for me to marry someone from Latin America because of the wider cultural difference. I love to sometimes infuse jokes into serious issues and the Mexicans that i met did that i lot. It made me miss my home so much!
In essence, i think the success of the marriage has more to do with culture and traditions than color. Most interracial marriages need hard work but who cares if you look green or blue, as long as the couple love, respect each other and are prepared to go through thick and thin together they should be fine